Friday, June 10, 2005

Thesis Reading Scorecard

Number of Attendees: A quorum.

Number of PhDs who came to hear the reading: 6.

Number of PhDs who showed up after the actual reading ended and admitted they'd gone drinking instead: Too many.

Number of faculty members invited: All.

Number of faculty members present: 0.

Number of large animal balloons: 2.

Age of youngest attendee in weeks: 6.

Percentage actually consumed of 2 Buck Chuck bought: 25.

Fraction of Keg #1 Albertson's bothered to fill with beer: 1/5.

Percentage devoured of Joe's custard conconction: 100.

Average height of fiction writer plus party hat: 6'5''.

Set of songs Barach, Haines and I all know: Nil plus Beatles.


Final Score: Poets 4, Fictioneers 4. A draw. Rematch required.

1 comment:

Keep Your Fork, There's Pie said...

Wait. I thought the poets won. We're shorter. But we can drink more. Didn't we win?