Sunday, September 04, 2005

Melancholy happiness

Today I sat in Au Bon Pain in Harvard Square people-watching, drinking a mammoth iced coffee and feeling melancholy, until I was interrupted by someone I vaguely remember from camp stopping to say hello. That reminded me of the ways Boston is different from other places, and how deeply you know a place where you've spent years there. Despite the melancholy, it's been a good few days: lots of feline face-time with Squid and her new sister Hermione, walks around new J.P. haunts and old Cambridge haunts, a sail on the good ship Vim! and tonight hard-boiled eggs at a hipster/grad student bar and the kind of last-minute hospitality that makes you feel like things are okay after all.

And maybe they are, but it's hard to decide. My great-aunt's late-life husband, Ruskin, died last night of a heart attack. I want to post a terrific picture I have of him in a bright yellow sport coat, taken only three or so weeks ago at the family reunion. He was 93, but spry enough to play badminton. I never knew him well, but I did know him to have extraordinary verve and good nature. As I understand it, he died at a luau, enjoying the food and entertainment, surrounded by his family. I picture him wearing a lei. It seems sad, and absurd, and maybe the perfect way to go.

2 comments:

Zanni said...

Oh how I wish I could be there to help you through your melancholy. I've been having a bit myself, but of a different variety.

There's a cute picture of us from Squaw. When my mom saw it she said "What a PRETTY girl Sarah is." I agreed. See you really soon!

Love,
Me

Megan Savage said...

Mary and I were talking about how funny-sad is her favorite mode in poetry, and I think something I go for in my fiction a lot too. Sort of like melancholy-happiness. We came up with a word for it, but I don't remember it anymore. The image of Ruskin in a yellow blazer and lei is so funny-sad. I want to write an elegy for him. But maybe you should.

I wish you were in Bloomington where the sweet corn is ripe and animal skulls peek out of the vines covering my chicken coop. But maybe I wish more we were sailing along the Charles together. I can't decide.

hhh