An illustration of the problem of trying to emphathize with your audience based on what you think they are thinking and feeling, which is especially

notable to me in the context of a lesson I recently received from a marketing professional.


Dear Zyzzyva,

In answer to your question, no, I am not "hurt because my manuscript was rejected." Are you kidding me? Anyone who has ever read for a journal or even just sent out poems knows that almost all of them get rejected and it's nothing personal and pretty random.

No, there's no need to ask for forgiveness "for returning [my] work and not offering comments or suggestions." After all, I didn't ask for your feedback, I asked if you wanted to publish my poems. If you don't, it's cool with me.

No, I am not "discouraged by this or any other momentary setback," and your letter does not alter or affect my sense of whether "the road is long and the struggle must go on." And frankly, I find it hard to imagine that anyone would want or need this particular pep talk. Anyone who knows your journal exists knows enough about the poetry business not to sweat a few rejections.

Definitely no, "when the Muse does visit again," I will not "give her [your] best regards." Ew.

And finally, no, I will not check the box that says "ZYZZYVA is beautiful and fun to read." I like a little modesty in my literary publications or at least charming immodesty in the name of interesting, articulated literary ambitions. I guess I am "grateful that such a magazine exists," but not so much for this magazine in particular. So, no, sorry, but I don't think I will subscribe, even for the low introductory price of $10.

Sincerely,
Me